Pandora's Box
What a discovery! I was told about
this site and just had to give it a go. What does it do? You type in a song and/or artist name and the site gives you a load of soundalikes. It costs nothing to register if you don't mind ads and are prepared to fill in a false American zip code eg 90210. I hope I won't be arrested.
After recent mutterings, I am sure you guessed that I decided to choose Arch Enemy's Nemesis as the first song I sought to clone through the medium of Pandora. Best of all it came up with a load of Frankensteins, as well as playing three songs from the Doomsday Machine album. Here are the other ones:
Lowest common denominator - Napalm Death
A visit from dread by Deceased
Death lasts a lifetime by Mental care foundation
Beg for life by Out to win
The god I would be by Sinai beach
United nations by Ektomorf
Parasitic Flesh Resection by Aborted
Sadistic Lullabye by Soilwork
Mummified in Barb wire by Cannibal Corpse
I think I can see a lot of money pouring out of my bank account on this in the very near future....
Sven Gordon Eriksson and the FA
Right, now I am really angry. I don’t have much time for journalists at the best of times but this is just ridiculous. I don’t know what the reasons are for Sven’s sacking after the World Cup, maybe he would have left anyway. It seems to me that this is largely a result of the Nowt, (Northern for nothing or worthless), or should that be NotW, arranging a sting operation specifically to stir up trouble with the England team before the World Cup. What is wrong with them? Are they secretly Scottish or something? How can we hope to get a good replacement when the pressure on the England manager is getting unmanageable? I don’t think he has done much wrong and I think that the Nowt has done a whole lot wrong, yet it is allowed to carry on damaging our chances of success. What can I say? I hate the way that football news is dominated by lies, gossip and hearsay and the fact that the redtops are basically allowed to get away with it. People of England, unite! Stand up to the false prophets! Vote with your feet like I have done and stop buying this rubbish!
I also hate the way that the game seems to take greater pleasure in stamping on enjoyment and truth than crushing corruption. Mike Newell, Ian Holloway and Sven all seem to have commented on the bung culture they see in the game yet they are the ones being requested to visit the FA compliance department. However much I wanted it to happen, Arjen Robben should not have got a second yellow card a few weeks ago for jumping into the crowd – he had just scored at a crucial time, why should he be denied? Equally I feel that the rumpus over Gary Neville’s celebrations the other day is a joke. We are not living in the 80s any more – enjoying a goal, even provocatively, will not cause a riot, not even between United and Liverpool, the fiercest of rivals. Have they not learned from the Cantona incident at Crystal Palace? When did the FA last try to do anything about fans hurling abuse at players, except in a racist context? This is so wrong! People go to matches to shout and scream at the players, and that is as it should be, but I think it is disgraceful to expect the players to not get caught up in the moment which they are responsible for. For me there is a danger that the FA will be going down the same road as the over-officious UEFA, inspired by the most odious man in football, Sepp Blatter.
These boots
I take a football option at school on Mondays and Wednesdays and have just worn out a pair of Adidas boots. I tried replacing the studs but I had worn them for just long enough that it was not physically possible. I chucked the boots out and decided to get a new pair as soon as possible because the plastic moulded studs on my Nikes were not giving me enough grip on the field. I went arse over tit the other day and that was the last straw. So this weekend GF and I went to Exeter and I planned to purchase a replacement then. More fool me. I went to a shop in Exeter where I had successfully bought things before. Little did I realise the difference between purchasing a United shirt that requires no effort on the part of the 'sales assistants' and a pair of boots which require them to actually go and get the things out of the store in the right size. So I asked an assistant to get me a pair of Adidas boots in a size 11, nothing too fancy, just kind of old school boots. Red, white and black. Five minutes later I am still standing in the same spot and I see him somewhere else talking to another customer. In the end I have to go over to him to ask him whether they had any. He said no. Why did he not come and tell me? How was he assisting their sales, the gormless twat? In a bit of a temper I flounced out of the shop. How difficult can it be to buy a pair of fucking football boots? Err, quite difficult, it would seem. And there's more...
We then went to another place to get the boots. I went and looked at them and saw some that I liked. then I had to wait ages for the arsistant to come and talk to me and again before she came back to say they didn't have them in an 11. Then we did exactly the same thing again. In frustration I decided then to ask what size 11s they did have so I could choose from them and she brought me back three pairs of boots in a size 11. Three in the whole shop! One did not fit and the ones that did fit I hated the colour of. I want functioning boots. I know I am not good enough to wear the silver boots I now have. I am not Christiano Ronaldo - John Smith might give me a run for my money!. The thing that really pissed me off was that these boots did not even take screw in studs, so when they do wear out I will have to buy a whole new pair. Why? Is it because the boot manufacturers have realised that they can make more money this way? It would not surprise me. Wankers!!!!
I will be putting a photo here. Decide for yourself.
Decoration, decoration, that's what you need...
...if you want to be the best...etc...
*Roy Castle and various McWhirters start spinning in their graves*
Apologies to those of you who aren't familiar with Record Breakers!
We are getting some decorating done. We finally got the guarantee that our nice exposed floorboards will not simply fall apart because of the actions of wood-boring insects just before the holidays. Now we are getting all the walls painted and the floor protected to last and the whole of our front two rooms made to look nice. At last we will be able to sit in our front room and not be confronted by the shambles of our accursed vendors' decisions.
Of the two of us, my girlfriend has clearer ideas on what she wants from a house in terms of decor. I am happy as long as it functions okay, ie has the required number of walls, ceilings etc, is not too cold or damp.
At this point in the writing of this post I was not quite sure how to end it. However events last night have changed that. I woke up at 7 like normal today and went downstairs only to find that a large patch of plaster had grown tired of life and decided to try to impale itself on our nice new sofa. I will put a picture here later. I was completely discombobulated, to say the least. It just seems that every time we think we are making progress with this house there is suddenly some new reason for the devil to fart in our faces again. Bunch of arse!
Top Five favourite artists and songs
I suppose this is really Mosher's fault because he got me thinking. I suppose I am in danger of going a bit High Fidelity, but I know at least one blogger who will be delighted to reminisce happily about John Cusack!
My top five artists at the moment are:
1 Arch Enemy, favourite song Nemesis
I loved that song so much I downloaded the guitar tab to learn the melody and was disappointed that it took me about a minute and a half.
2 Iron Maiden, favourite song Hallowed be thy name.
I still remember singing along to the guitar parts, along with another 70000 people at various Maiden gigs with particularly fond memories
3 Vicious Rumors, favourite song anything from Digital Dictator
My friends all hated them and I have still not seen them live after a very frustrating experience at the Camden Underworld
4 Metallica, Fade to Black
5 Slayer, Angel of Death
Slayer are one of the most powerful bands I have ever seen live. Crushing!
Feel free to add yours below. I will not mock you if it is not heavy metal. Duran Duran still feature heavily on my iPod!
Sacrifice unto Sebek
It was early. I was just getting ready for school. We were expecting the decorator to arrive. I was just finishing my shave in front of the TV when the first chords of evil ground out. A scatophagous grin crept across my face. This song was special. Depraved, brutal but special. They were only a three-piece and there was no bassist. They didn't need one. The noise they made was enough to wake the dead. Insane double bass drumming pounded out. I felt a pressing need to hit things until they made loud noises. 7.15 am rarely seems like the time or place for this. A semi-balding countenance, long, curling hair where the follicles allowed, an unshaven jaw and a cherry sunburst Explorer copy. On the other side a head of very pale blond hair banged away above a Flying V with a strange headstock. The obscure images of Egyptian hieroglyphics scattered throughout the video made me wonder what the song was about. It sounded nasty. I smiled again.
